INT. - CATHOLIC CHURCH - DAY
FATHER SHANNON preaches from the pulpit to a reverent crowd.
FATHER SHANNON
And now I invite you all to come forward and receive the spirit of the Lord -
Father Shannon is startled by a loud bang at the rear of the church. The doors have been flung open and VINCE VAUGHN, awash in holy light and overpowering self assuredness, enters and waltzes down the aisle.
VINCE VAUGHN
Hey there all you God fearin' folks! A good lookin' crowd here for some ashes! Ash Wednesday! The day we all decide to sacrifice our sex appeal in the name of the J man upstairs, hey father? Use our foreheads like a big old God billboard! Okay hit me up padre, let's get ashified. I'm ready to get nutty, crazy, a little our of control in here with these ashes. Let's get ashed, get trashed, and let the chips fall where they may! Loosey Goosey! Yeah Ethel in pew 3 I'm talking to you! I want to take you on down to my funky, funky town! We can pray for your sick nephew on the way there!
FATHER SHANNON
That's fine Mr. Vaughn, but would you mind just lining up in an orderly fashion, please?
VINCE VAUGHN
Oh yeah sure Paddy, you got it absolutely 100%.
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