I Invite You to Pursue Your Missed Connections

Craigslist Missed Connections – Men for Women

Greenwich Village – July 5th
Petite and blonde, with adorable dimples and a long blue raincoat, you were rushing out of the Starbucks on 4th and 6th that rainy Wednesday morning. We made eye contact, but you got a cab before I could introduce myself. I think you’re exquisite and I’d love to buy you a cappuccino sometime.

Greenwich Village – July 6th
I unfortunately don’t know your Christian name, so I’ve started referring to you in my head as “my little ray of sunshine.” I hope that’s okay with you! Today you tried to hail a cab for almost 20 minutes, but no one would stop for you! You get the cutest wrinkles in your forehead when you’re frustrated.
You called someone - I think it was your grandmother, because of your sweet tone of voice. Or maybe you’re always that sweet to everyone on the phone? I bet you are.
I was the skinny brown haired guy holding the Discount Cell Phones sign on the corner, outside Starbucks. Were we making eyes? You already had a Blackberry so it definitely wasn’t my sign you were looking at. Let me know when I can buy you that cappuccino.

Greenwich Village – July 7th
My tiny, honey haired goddess, wearing a beautiful blue dress today, you almost spilled your venti coffee all over yourself as you exited the Starbucks – or as I’ve taken to calling it, “Our Place.” You should be more careful with your coffee – I would hate to think of your immaculate flesh being plagued with third degree burns! I spilled hot water on myself once – actually it was hot soup, and I didn’t spill it so much as the server at the shelter’s hand slipped – and it was horrible! Having to use old newspapers as bandages just made it worse. I’ll bet you have health insurance, though. You’re probably even a physician! A pediatrician! A caring medical professional!
You must have been rushing off to give flu shots to little children this morning. But don’t think I didn’t catch you checking me out before! I dressed up for you today, and I’m glad it paid off. I spent almost 15 dollars on that gold lame suit jacket at the good will! Sometimes when I look at you, I feel like time stops, and I could spend the rest of eternity staring at your angelic face. I could see by the worried way that you looked at me that you wished you could have stayed longer to chat.
I have to say I was disheartened that you caught a cab so quickly this morning, though I’m happy you weren’t late for the flu shots. Maybe you could explain the joys of pediatricianitism over coffee?

Greenwich Village – July 8th
My Little Ray of Sunshine, you were with a man this morning at Starbucks. Was this your father? Since he looked to be about your exact age, I have to think that’s probably not the case. I can’t ignore the feeling that you’re trying to make me jealous. My “Live Nude Girls” sign trembled as my imagination ran wild with images of this corporate looking asshole putting his undeserving hands all over your milky skin. I understand that girls like to play games, but to bring him to Our Place– very bold.
I now realize my anguished screaming and writhing on the pavement in front of you was a little uncouth. What I meant to say was “I love you – could we grab a coffee sometime?” And you don’t have to worry about my hair – the parts I tore out will definitely grow back. That’s the great thing about hair! If you go out with me this week, I promise I’ll wear a hat. Correct me if I’m wrong but the intonation in your voice when you whispered, “What is that psychopath screaming about?” suggested a stifled longing. Don’t ignore this fire. Get a coffee with me sometime.

Greenwich Village – July 9th
We came so close to fulfilling our destiny today, but unfortunately the stars haven’t fully aligned just yet. You were wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses when I saw you this morning – I barely recognized you! It was very hot out today, and if I had immaculately fair skin like yours I’d be worried about sun exposure too. Our eyes met, and I could see the fear of commitment washing over your face. I wanted to grab you and shake you and tell you, “don’t fear love!” So that’s why I grabbed you and shook you. I was about to tell you “don’t fear love!” when the traffic cop ran over and threw me on the ground. I understand that you didn’t stick up for me then, as law enforcement officers are intimidating, and I can sense you’re not ready for the attention of a public relationship. As you briskly walked away from the corner where I was being detained, I know you felt the pangs of regret, and the general sense of “what if..?” We can still get to know each other though – they give me free coffee at the precinct. Care to share a cup with me some lazy afternoon? I’ll be here till my hearing on the 18th, so take your time.