Slutty holiday costume alternatives to the standard Slutty Santa

Slutty gift-wrapped iPad

Slutty latke

Slutty canned cranberry sauce

Slutty generic "season's greetings" card

Slutty menorah (group costume)

Slutty family fight about why the damned brand new iPad won't synch up with the PC

Slutty lamb present for the birth of Jesus

Slutty manger

We three sluts (group costume)

Slutty non-denominational Winter Solstice person

3 Tips for How to Be a Savvy, Sexxy Recession-ista!

1. Exfoliate that complexion with cat litter!
2. Pumice those dry heels with cat litter!
3. Eat cat litter!

More Fox News Hypotheses about the Muppets

Pepe the King Prawn – Illegal alien
Grover – Sexual deviant
Oscar the Grouch – Homeless laze-about
Miss Piggy – Feminazi
Snuffleupagus – A real "Ru Paul" type, if you follow.
Count von Count – Illegal alien
Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem – Hippie scum
Elmo – Red
Swedish Chef – IKEA-mongering illegal alien
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew – Godless global-warming-monger
Rizzo the Rat – a real “Jon Stewart” type, if you follow.
Statler and Waldorf – Medicare leeches
The Yip Yips – Illegal aliens

Question: How much Trader Joe's Trail Mix is enough?

Answer: Impossible to know until you have a stomachache from eating too much.

S&P On A Downgrading Roll.

Great Danes downgraded to Fair-to-Middling Danes

Best Western downgraded to If You Ask Me, It's Just Okay Western

Museum of Fine Arts downgraded to Museum of All Right Arts

Great Wall Of China downgraded to Extra-Long Rock